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Movies / Ranting and RavingNo Comments
May 07

And yes I can confirm

… that the rubbish trucks hit the city-side of Thorndon at 4:07am on Mondays.

I’m going to be so suicidal at work today.

Oh to have a bodyclock that works. Actually no, that would be boring.

I think the delirium has set in. It’s like “the vapours” only less pejorative in that Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil kinda way. Jude Law was forgettable in that film, wouldn’t you say?

Who’d've thought there’d be an industry that designs light-emitting alarm clocks for the righting of errant bodyclocks? Not I. Maybe I should try one of these.

Well that or maybe try to avoid doing godknowswhat until 4 in the morning.

It’s a German word. They have words for everything. My favourite is schadenfreude.

Ok, I’m REALLY going to bed now. Nunighs everyone.

May 07

Awwwwww… you shouldn’t have!

My Friday night houseguests brought with them a wee gift they thought might cheer me up and you had to colour me quite expectant as this cute wee bag was handed to me before they shot into the kitchen to commence with the drinking.

I’m not sure many of you would approve of its contents but it was really quite a touching gesture. Completely unsolicited, totally unexpected and the absolutely perfect gift for the moment.

We enjoy presents here at the whorehouse.

And with that it is 3:30 in the morning and I should probably consider getting some sleep. Nunighs everyone!

May 07

Ummm… when are you next leaving town?

I had guests on Friday night and after a fair few gins on my part and god knows how many coke-laden voddies (sp?) on their part, we thought it would be genius to take down all of my flatmate’s arguably questionable artwork and replace it with hand-drawn replicas and suggested alternatives. Now before you start thinking we were pissing all over his creative aspirations, I should perhaps clarify that by “artwork” I mean prints and things he had no hand in creating.

Anywho, hurriedly tracking down sheets of paper while the boys got to it with pen and what paper I could find, I think we ended up with something that looked pretty good. Post-tantrum examples include this (because it was), this (because it generally is) and this (their taste in music, NOT mine). I don’t know about my houseguests but I was quite happy with what we came up with. Quite happy indeed.

So you’ll have to colour me perplexed when the flatmate comes home from what I can only assume was a night on the town and flies into rage that saw my room reverberate to the sounds of paper being torn off the walls and prints hurriedly being put back up on the walls elsewhere in the flat. I was kinda expecting him to react this way but it sucked all the same that he did get as angry as he did. I would have been nothing but flattered and joyous if someone took the time to replace all my vinyl art toys with cheap and nasty hand-drawn replicas. Well I’d be homocidally pissed off if they had sold off or thrown out the toys to make room for the replicas.

Now before you think this a moment of utter TMI, and generally outside the bounds of opaqueness that surrounds much of my chronicled life, it is all context for something that was sent my way this weekend.

It seems the Swedes had similar ideas for the apartment of a friend of theirs and the Pink Prank Project is the brilliant end-result. Talk about hard out. The denizens of Wellington should be grateful I don’t have the patience for a project this involving, because damn if it doesn’t look like a brilliant prank to pull on someone.

A less-intense alternative could be the clandestine giftwrapping of randomly-selected major items of office furniture at your place of work. Think of it as a celebration of the imaginary birthdays of individual filing cabinets, computer screens, desk chairs, desks, etc. Think big fuck-off bows and thick chunky ribbon and expensive wrapping paper (the kind you don’t get from Te Warewhare or your nearest supermarket).

May 07

More than meets the eye?

See? I so told you it would suck.

Well… not in so many words, but you can so taste the disapproval.

And on that note, I hereby end the youtube madness on SFTWM at least for tonight.

May 07

I knew I shouldn’t have but I just couldn’t help myself

11 June 2007 should be the second-most important date of the year for me but after listening to some of the leaked tracks from Justice’s yet-to-be-formally-released album, I’m not sure there is a lot on the album to get excited about.

I wish this was a case of ruining the surprise but June 11 isn’t Christmas morning and Justice isn’t an aunt you’ve never met that always sends an ill-fitting if painstakingly hand-knitted sweater of the kind made famous by David Bain.

Stellar tracks Waters of Nazareth and Phantom have already been formally released, as has the achingly less-dirty D.A.N.C.E. (I’m with Piers in thinking this is a song Justice should have remixed instead of releasing themselves) so they don’t really count. If we look at the leaked tracks, Stress stands out as a stonker while Genesis, New Jack and Valentine have left me wondering whether they were actually done by the same Justice that has some of us desperately wanting to move to Paris.

Now if you like me you need your faith in the French reaffirmed, check out the trailer to Daft Punk’s feature film Electroma. It just screened at the Cannes Film Festival. Looks wicked and dear god I hope this comes out on general release or at least one of the slew of film festivals that besiege our nation’s capital.

May 07

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

A few months back, a friend of a friend was raving about a show she’d been enjoying called The Mighty Boosh, and it’s taken until now for me to finally work out just what she was talking about.

Thanks to the kind folk at youtube, I’ve been able to see a few clips of this BBC comedy series and I’m afraid I’m rather unimpressed. I can appreciate how random it is and yes some parts bring a smirk to my normally stone-faced visage, but the show on the whole just lacks the substance to engage. I was watching an episode called Nanageddon and I’m sorry but I was left counting the seconds until the next scene would pop up. Thankfully the scenes changes are rather frequent.

It wasn’t terrible. It wasn’t bad. If anything, it just just wasn’t quite good enough. Maybe it just pales in comparison to the might of the obviously superior The IT Crowd.

This clip is dedicated to the miraculously healed man. He knows who he is. He also knows I hate cricket. Enjoy.

May 07

Pencil. This. In.

… and now!!!

May 07

Ok, maybe this week

Joel‘s in town. Maybe he’ll come with me.

Someone should.

May 07

The Perils of Openness or Gorby Got It Wrong

What follows are highlights of the weekend adventures of yours truly. Enjoy with my compliments. Or don’t. Up to you really.

: Ah… zombies
Saw 28 Weeks Later. Didn’t think too much of it to be honest. Pale reflection on the first one. Empty, boring and pointless reflection. See it if you have money to burn and time to kill.

: On the upside…
Readng Cinemas had a “coming soon” promo for Reno911. I don’t care that Empire magazine only gave it one star.

: There’s killing on the dancefloor
Shiny was fun, Joel’s set was great, but the crowd was a bit weird (and I mean that in the motley sense of the word). My feet were aching something wicked the next day.

: When drunken confessions go horribly wrong
… let’s not go there. Too soon.

: And on our right we have…
I went to Imerst for the first time. Quite the experience. I can only assume that was where the Wahine sank, because Imerst is three levels of tragic.

: Young kids these days
Ok so maybe I went to a birthday party for a friend of a friend who had turned 18 and maybe it was in Imerst’s third level “VIP” bar and maybe I was the oldest person that was meant to be there and maybe I was being stalked by some unfortunate anorak-wearer in his 40s (obvious let-off-his-leach-by-mother material) and maybe my back suffered from barely legal boys jump hugging me. Good times. No really.

: Crayon is the French word for pencil
Somehow I woke up with a box of crayons in the small of my back. Although I can’t remember how I got home, what disturbs me more is where they came from and what I was thinking at the time (if anything that could be taken as being in the general vicinity of vague sobriety).

: Filial piety in the modern age
Mother’s Day lunch was had at Chow on Tory. Food comas were had by all because Te Papa insisted on yours truly ordering just a bit too much food. The rib of beef was incredible. The pork and sticky rice sausage was excellent. I regret not being able to finish my coconut sticky rice pudding with cardamom-scented pineapple. There’s a definite return visit on the cards, especially with 1+1=1 cocktails on Wednesday nights. Pimms Cup anyone?

May 07

Excuses, excuses

I’m in a people-hating mood.

Back soon.


I think.

Well maybe.

I don’t know.


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